Category Archives: Engagement Proposals
Hugh Hefner, Aged 86, Scheduled (Again) To Marry Crystal Harris (26)
The New York Daily News reports that Hugh Hefner is set to marry his on-again-off-again girlfriend who is 60 years younger than him on New Year’s Eve.
3 Older Things Crystal Harris Could Marry
1. An immortal jellyfish. Don’t believe such a thing exists? Check out last week’s NY Times article here.
2. The novel, the Great Gatsby, published in 1925, a year before Hef was born.
3. NFL team the New York Giants (who joined the league in 1925). We also would have accepted the following other teams that joined the NFL that year: Detroit Panthers, Providence Steam-Roller, Canton Bulldogs, and Pottsville Maroons.
Diamond Store Apparently Thinks She Will Be Impressed By That Engagement Ring If She Knows You Got A Free Gun With The Purchase
NBC affiliate 11alive.com reports that an Atlanta area diamond store is offering a free hunting rifle with a purchase of diamonds over $2,500.
In the video news report, which can be seen here, the store Owner refuses to have his face shown on camera for “security reasons.” Because you know, giving out guns to people shopping for diamonds can’t create any conceivable security issues.
The video continues by interviewing an experienced wedding planner, who suggests this opens the possibilities to a themed wedding involving camouflage, maybe some spurs, and baseball caps.
3 Worse Themes For Weddings Than Camoflauge, Spurs, and Baseball Caps
1. A Rich Kids Of Instagram-themed wedding. The wedding party would be dressed in dresses and tuxedos made entirely for receipts for Louis Vuitton dresses and tuxedos. Ironically, they could have wore the real dresses and tuxedos, instead, but it’s not called the “Smart Kids Of Instagram.” By the way, is it just us, or are the Rich Kids of Instagram getting younger these days? Check out that site’s entry from yesterday and be the judge!
Speaking of rich kids, if you ever wanted a Justin Bieber-themed wedding, there’s currently no shortage of Bieber greeting cards at your local store!
2. Forget just baseball caps – have an entire baseball uniform-themed wedding! Having all the groom’s side dressed in Yankees’ uniforms and all the bride’s side dressed in Red Sox’ uniforms may seem like a good idea until the open bar starts serving and a brawl ensues. Also, the Red Sox side is totally going to lose the game based on this season’s record.
3. An X-Factor themed wedding. Having celebrities like Simon Cowell judging everything from the ceremony to the speeches may initially seem fun, but if new judge Britney Spears pipes in about “how long it’s gonna last,” things might get ugly when you remind her of her marital history.
3 More Confusing Ring Sizes Jewelers Could Try To Sell You Instead Of “Q And A Half”
As we continue our week of writing entries inspired by our readers, we move on to our next entry we found in our WordPress Reader entitled “Half a letter for a finger… Confusing title, eh?” This witty entry about the illogical use of letters and numbers in ring sizes was written by a funny blogger named Felix of GrumpyComments.com. Specifically, a jewelery store employee recently told him he was probably a size “Q and a half,” which does seem like a bizarre sizing system.
Still, jewelers around the world could have conceived worse sizing nomenclature, including the 3 following sizes, that would probably lead to more confusion and frustration than when this brain surgeon we previously wrote about buried his prospective wife’s engagement ring in the sand on a beach and asked her to find it… but you need not search in the sand to find our 3 worse possible ring sizes… here they are: Read the rest of this entry
Proposing To Women Is Not Brain Surgery, Which May Be Why This Brain Surgeon Hid An Engagement Ring In The Sand On A Beach
A brain surgeon vacationing in Naples, Florida came up with a one-of-a-kind marriage proposal idea: hide his prospective bride-to-be’s engagement ring in the sand; make her dig in the sand for hours to find it before the proposal; and then call in a scruffy old professional dude with a metal detector to find it.
Well, you know what that means! She has to marry the dude with the metal detector! Oh wait, that’s just how it would work if we were writing a reality TV show. She actually said “yes” to the surgeon, and we’re sure it was for his brains, and not his money. Really. But it could have been worse.
3 Worse Places A Brain Surgeon Could Hide A Wedding Ring Before A Marriage Proposal
1. In a patient’s aorta. Making a bride-to-be perform surgery to find her ring isn’t that romantic, unless it’s surgery to mend a broken heart of her favorite movie star, the perpetually-broken-up with-at-the-start-of-each-movie Michael Cera. That said, losing a ring while conducting open-heart surgery that should have been brain surgery doesn’t sound that far fetched for someone who confuses “beaches of sand” with “Tiffany box inside my left pant pocket next to the Skittles.”
2. In the sand of a beach in Naples, Italy! Like anyone with a metal detector would give that back when Italy’s in a major financial crisis! And the bride-to-be may be a little more irritated when standing on the beach of Naples, Florida, and the potential groom announces “Ooops, I forgot where I put this ring in the sand, and we’re in the wrong Naples, to boot!”
3. On the index finger of a prostitute in Las Vegas. Although don’t be surprised if that’s a set-piece in the Hangover 3.
