Category Archives: Crime
Man Uses iPhone Siren To Try To Pull Over Real Cop
WAFB reports in a video you can see here, that a Memphis man was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
How’d he get caught? By pulling over a uniformed, off-duty police-officer.
How’d he pull him over? By using an iPhone siren/flashing light app.
3 Worse People To Pull Over With Your iPhone Fake Siren App
1. The developers of a fake siren app. “Whoa, we never expected anyone would fall for this,” the developers may say, “Especially us, since we totally created it when we were high.”
2. Someone playing a driving game on an iPhone. They’re not going to be happy having to pull over their cyber-car, ruining their cyber-high score.
3. Girls in a bar. “You’re so hot, you’ve caused a 3 alarm fire. Don’t believe me? Check out the 3 morning alarms also on my iPhone,” may sound like a good pick-up line… until the ladies start noticing your alarm clocks are all set for 3pm, raising the question as to whether you were telling the truth when you said you were really a school teacher.
Canadian Super Bowl Ticket-Winner Denied Admission To U.S. For 1981 Drug Possession Conviction
CBC reports that a Canadian man in his 50′s who won tickets to the Super Bowl was denied admission to the United States, because in 1981, when he was 19 years old, he was convicted for possession of two grams of marijuana. At the time he paid a $50 fine.
3 Worse Reasons A Canadian Man With Super Bowl Tickets Could Have Missed The Game
1. Denied entry due to a Criminal Record in Canada for the real offense of alarming the Queen. It seems highly unlikely anyone would be able to alarm the Queen at the Super Bowl, unless someone phoned Buckingham Palace to say Prince Charles bet Buckingham Palace on the 49ers.
2. Thought the game was today after watching too many episodes of Monday Night Football.
3. Car navigation system could have sent him to Louisiana, Missouri.
11% Of People Use “1234″ As Their Bank Card Pin Number
According to DataGenetics.com, an analysis of 3.4 million bank card PIN numbers revealed that some numbers are more popular than others.
The five most popular:
- 1234 – 10.7%
- 1111 – 6.0%
- 0000 – 1.9%
- 1212 – 1.2%
- 7777 – 0.7%
Beastie Boys fans everywhere are saying “Not 1212! That’s so much fun to type in and sing Get It Together while getting my financial affairs together!”
Speaking of singing, among higher security passwords, the most popular 7 digit password, according to the site, is 8675309, after a song about some girl named Jenny’s phone number.
Three Worse Things Than Picking A PIN Number That Turns Your Bank Card Into A Winning Lottery Ticket With Thieves On The First Attempt To Steal All Your Money
1. Picking the most obscure number (8068) and then writing it on the back of the card, along with the words “PIN Number” because it’s too hard to remember, especially when you’ve written other important numbers on the back of your card like your Social Insurance Number.
“Hello, I’m a talking bank machine from the land of the future. If your password is ’1234,’ don’t bother putting the card in, I’ll just randomly shoot out cash and red, white, and blue ticker tape just like an AC/DC concert!”
2. Being a thief and finding a bank card, putting it in the bank machine and seeing it has such an easy-to-guess PIN, but then accidentally depositing your pay check from We Steal Bank Cards Inc. into the account, revealing your identity.
3. Choosing the Password “1234″ and then playing the board game Battleship for high stakes. It’s sooooooooo obvious you’re going to put your aircraft carrier into spaces A1-A5, while getting hustled by every five year old in town.
Buffalo Man Buys French Fries With Counterfeit $50 Bill, Eats More Counterfeit Bills When Police Arrive, According To Report
Today’s scoop comes via email from funny blogger, ListOfX, just in time for NFL game day!
Yahoo reports that a man from Buffalo, New York, allegedly bought french fries at Darien Lake Theme Park with a fake $50. When police arrived, he allegedly tried to eat more fake $50s to get rid of the evidence.
3 Things That Could Make This Situation More Ironic In New York State
1. He could have tried to pay for the french fries with fake Buffalo Bills. As the real Buffalo Bills have not had a winning season since 2004, we doubt anyone would exchange delicious amusement park french fries for a fake team.
Would fake Buffalo Bills win more games than real Buffalo Bills? A question that’s been confounding philosophers since 2004.
2. He could have tried to pay for the french fries with real Buffalo Wild Wings, or real, original wings from Buffalo’s Anchor Bar. Wings for fries? That’s a terrible deal! Especially if you’re a vegan!
3. The man could have been given fake french fries at a fast food restaurant at Coney Island, where as part of New York City, the vendor has to post the real calorie count of the french fries on the menu! The man should have known that the fries were fake with a menu promising 50 calories per “whatever-the-size-below-super-size-is-called” serving, and a main ingredient of “fake fifty dollar bills!”
Naked Man Wanders Out Of Forest, Interrupts TV News Interview
KARK-TV in Arkansas was in the middle of interviewing an elderly couple about a tree that fell during a storm and destroyed their house, when a naked man wandered out of a forest, interrupting the interview. The man was arrested, and the report indicated deputies believed he was on drugs.
3 Worse Places To Wander While Naked Than Into A Local TV Interview
1. The launch of the latest iPhone, which is expected to occur at an Apple event tomorrow. Not only will countless iPhones capture the moment in HD from every angle, but the live blogging tech community will post the images instantly online around the world, complete with snarky comments about the unexpected much-more-than-a-retina display.
If you do wander into the woods naked, we suggest not wearing this fragrance.
2. A tree prior to a storm in Arkansas. Anyone who calls the local news when a tree damages their house, will be even more likely to call the news if a stoner is in the tree. Plus, you damaged someone’s house, which is never a popular move, and may lead to lawsuits in addition to criminal charges.
3. Anywhere in Quebec, Canada. Everyone will think you are just part of the hidden-camera prank TV show “Just For Laughs: Gags” where naked people wander everywhere from roadsides to convenience stores to elevators. As many Quebeckers may consider your nudity to be a prank, that means it will be even more difficult to get sincere directions to help you find your way to your clothes, even if you can speak French.
Drunk Man In Superman Suit Should Have Clarified The “S” Stood For “Stupor!”
According to the Local, a Norwegian man visiting northern Sweden, dressed in a Superman costume, had to be locked up after police deemed him to be too inebriated to “fend for himself.”
We can only guess what the police in northern Sweden thought the man in the Superman suit might have to defend himself from. Evil geniuses with maniacal plans to take over the world? Kryptonite? Or crates of unassembled IKEA furniture missing instructions.
3 Worse Costumes To Wear In A Swedish Jail
1. An Angry Birds costume. As the popular mobile game Angry Birds was created in Finland, the other people in the drunk tank might try to build a slingshot and send you flying home to the neighboring nation.
If you’re drunk in Sweden, and can’t fend for yourself, we don’t recommend wearing this on your head!
Oh, Canada! Some Bandit Stole Your Bees. Half A Million Gone. In Abbotsford, BC!
And in case you’re wondering, you can actually sing our headline to “Oh, Canada.” Now to the news…
According to CBC News, half a million bees and about 8,000 pounds of honey were stolen from a beekeeper in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada.
As we wrote earlier this summer, in our continual quest to help Ellen Page, narrator of the documentary Vanishing Of The Bees find the bees, 500,000 bees were flown from Sweden to Greenland. Canadian police, and Canadian Ellen Page, we’re not saying that Greenland is involved in this latest incident… but they sure do seem to have an interest in half-million bee increments there….
This heist resulted in the theft of more bees than the population of the entire city of Sacramento, home ironically of the Sacramento Bee newspaper! We can imagine stealing a city of bees would agitate these insects that tend to sting people for lesser offenses, like moving the mustard at a picnic. But could it be worse? Of course! Here are:
3 Worse Things To Steal Than 500,000 Bees Read the rest of this entry
3 Worse Things Your House-Sitter Could Do Than Steal Your Credit Card
Today is the final day of our week-long celebration of our readers! And our final entry in this series is inspired by blogger clotildajamcracker and her entry “Pirates Of The Dirty White T-Shirts.” This funny blog entry segues from commentary on the quality of modern-day pirate fashion to a tale of how during the author’s youth, she may have been helping some dude house-sit at the neighbor’s place. And that dude may have stolen the neighbors’ credit card. And they may have gone on a luxury trip to San Antonio using the credit card. Read the rest of this entry
Pennsylvania Alleged Food Thief Less Ambitious Than Transylvania Alleged Food Thieves!
Yesterday we wrote about a massive alleged theft of garlic by men in Transylvania. Time to move on to another wacky alleged food theft in another vania, namely, Pennsylvania! The Huffington Post reports that a potato chip trail lead police to arrest a man who allegedly stole 9 bags of potato chips from a Subway restaurant in Washington, Pennsylvania.
Please tell us it wasn’t the Baked Lay’s! It would be terrible to be convicted of a crime while trying to be health conscious! Still it could be worse:
3 Worse Things You Could Steal, Leaving A Trail Behind You For The Police To Find Read the rest of this entry
