Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts Reads From Card To Administer The Oath To Swear In President Obama For A Second Term

After fumbling some words during the administration of the oath in 2009, Chief Justice Roberts, avoiding any risk of making a mistake memorizing a few sentences, read the oath for the President to be sworn in for his second term from a card before noon EST today.

3 Worse Things A Supreme Court Justice Could Read An Oath From

1. Ink on his hand. As any grade school student or Sarah Palin knows, that ink can smudge.

2. The back of a police cruiser. Wouldn’t really inspire confidence of a judge’s right to administer an oath.

3. A Five Guys Burger brown paper bag. As we all learned from this YouTube video, there’s plenty of room to write an oath on the paper bag, but again, grease can smudge the ink, and the last thing you want is to see a president swear to uphold the constitution of the “United Tastes Of America,” when a justice improvises while thinking about a burger. We imagine that constitution involves serving extra-large portions of everything at the Cheesecake Factory!