Is your razor blade dull? Time to find a sharp object to open the package of new blades!

We’d like to congratulate Gillette on the brand’s new Fusion Proglide blades which according to the packaging “effortlessly glide…”

Although we’d be more likely to congratulate the brand if the blades came in a package that effortlessly glided open first thing in the morning, instead of requiring scissors, which may not be so common in a typical hotel room.

While we’re commenting on the packaging, we draw your attention to the promise of “Incredible comfort – even if you shave every day.” Yep, this isn’t one of those slipshod blades that is only comfortable for men who shave every few days, months, or even years, because the men out there all know how comfortable that would be.

We bet if you had a sharp razor blade you could open this package! Actually, we withdraw that bet, after trying to open it with all five blades and the trimmer blade, with no success!

3 Less Convenient Ways That You Could Open A Package Of Sharp Objects

1. After cutting open the package, it could have a special door with an alarm inside, to notify everyone in your home that you just tried to touch a package of razor blades, just like at Wal-Mart! Except unlike Wal-mart, this alarm would wake up your family, neighbors, and their barking dogs.

2. A package that opens easily, but only if you don’t shave every day! And by “easy”, we mean opening the package requires wooden screws and instructions from IKEA. If you shave as often as you assemble furniture, i.e. once every few years, this may be easy to open, otherwise, not so much.

3. You could be required to win a pair of scissors as part of a challenge on Survivor Philippines. If you don’t win the scissors, you’ll be stuck with an unopened package of razors and a grizzly beard the rest of the season, feeling like Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough At Last,” just with more facial hair.