Hey, If You Farm Thousands Of Turtles, Eventually You’re Going To Get The Most Boring Prison Break Ever!

Thanks to funny blogger List of X for emailing us about this news story about a turtle prison break from Chattanooga, Tennessee!

Specifically, 1,600 turtles were released from a turtle farm when alleged “pranksters” knocked down the fences.

3 Worse Things To Release Than 1,600 Turtles From Captivity

1. 1,600 Years of Tax Returns From Mitt Romney. No, we are not suggesting Mitt Romney is at least 1,600 years old. We are suggesting that he will release this year’s return 800 times, and last year’s return another 800 times.

A copy of Mitt Romney’s complete 2011 tax return.

2. One anagram of Paul Ryan: “Lunar Pay.” Which is what he believes the top-earning Americans should make based on our understanding of his proposed tax policies.

3. One anagram of Mitt Romney: “Memory Tint.” That’s the name we give to a condition when someone recalls that many of their policies as governor of Massachusetts were totally different than the very similar-seeming policies of the current President that he is running against.