Monthly Archives: August 2012

If Clint Eastwood Wanted To Debate An Empty Chair, There Were Plenty In Theaters When His Movie “J. Edgar” Opened!

At last night’s GOP convention, mystery guest speaker, Clint Eastwood, pretended to debate an empty chair, representing President Obama.

3 Other Places Clint Eastwood Could Find More Empty Chairs To Debate

1. At the opening weekend of the last movie he directed that has been released, J. Edgar. According to Box Office Mojo, that movie was beat out by Jack and Jill on its opening weekend. You know, the movie where Adam Sandler played a twin brother and sister! Maybe Eastwood would have fared better that weekend with a movie about fraternal twin chairs debating each other on a split screen! Read the rest of this entry

From AC/DC To Zeppelin, Paul Ryan Knew How To Reference Non-U.S. Bands In His Speech!

Yesterday, we pondered what song Paul Ryan would use to enter WWE-wrestler style for his speech at the GOP Convention, after one of his favorite bands, Rage Against The Machine referred to him as “the embodiment of the Machine our music rages against.”

We incorrectly guessed songs by Mitt Romney supporter Kid Rock, as Paul Ryan entered to Irish-founded Band Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back In Town. In fairness, half of the band’s current members were born in the USA, according to Wikipedia.

During his speech, Ryan bragged his iPod is filled with music from Australian rockers AC/DC to British rockers Led Zeppelin.

Is this a sign that Ryan is working his ability to demonstrate himself as someone who can grab the hearts of people around the world like Barack Obama? Or perhaps he didn’t want to risk using another American band reference that may have resulted in more insults in Rolling Stone Op-Ed pieces.

3 Other Non-American Music Artists That May Not Be Helpful To Mention Are On A Republican Candidate’s iPod During A Convention Speech Read the rest of this entry

Don’t Stop Believin’ Mitt Romney Will Get A Better Entrance Theme Song Than Paul Ryan At The GOP Convention

It will be interesting to see what songs Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney use for entrance or post-speech themes for tonight’s and tomorrow night’s GOP convention speeches.

It’s hard to find a good entrance theme when most cool bands seem likely to disagree with your platforms.

After Paul Ryan named Rage Against The Machine as one of his favorite groups on Facebook, the band’s guitarist Tom Morello, in a Rolling Stone Op-Ed piece called Paul Ryan:

“the embodiment of the Machine our music rages against.”

For Rage Against The Machine fans, we guess that’s kinda good thing, because if they had no machine to rage against, the band might have nothing to sing about.

According to the Daily Mail, the Silversun Pickups sent Mitt Romney a cease-and-desist letter asking him to stop using their song “Panic Switch.” Seriously, Mitt, aren’t you a little bit old to pretend to be up on the latest alt-rock music? You’re not the hip-hop Grandma from the movie the Wedding Singer. Read the rest of this entry

The Problem Of Litterers Throwing Tin Cans Out Of Car Windows May Be Worse Than We Ever Imagined!

On Sunday, we commented on the road signs we frequently see along highways, that appear to be warning potential litterers not to throw tin cans that have presumably been opened with a can-opener out of their car windows.

Since writing that piece, Not The Worst News has spotted many of these signs in Ontario, Canada. But most interestingly is where we are spotting them. Not on highways, or entrances to highways. We’re spotting them on exits from highways. Leading into some of Ontario’s largest cities, like Mississauga, Vaughan, and Toronto. Here’s a photo of one below:

Another sign reminding of the potential repercussions of throwing tin cans out of windows in Ontario cities. Note no other warning signs in sight!

Suddenly, our understanding of these signs has been turned upside down! We thought the signs were to prevent people from throwing their tin cans of corn and refried beans out of car windows at high speeds.

Now it appears the purpose of the signs is to warn people not to throw tin cans out the window after they enter a city. And oddly, at the intersections viewed, these were the only warnings or signs of any kind. “Welcome to our city, and by welcome to our city, we mean, and only mean, do not even think about throwing a tin can out of the car window!”

3 Worse Potential Ontario Road Signs For Off-Ramps Leading Into Cities

1. “Warning: the Mayor of Toronto admits he reads while driving, but refuses to hire a driver. He might be driving next to you right now! You have no time to read this sign and keep your eyes off your surroundings!” Read the rest of this entry

Flight Crew Fashion Police Spark Debate On What Is Acceptable To Wear On An Airplane

CNBC reports that two passengers who were asked to adjust their clothing on U.S. air carriers told their stories to sympathetic bloggers, leading to a viral debate of proper air travel attire.

Specifically, a woman flying from Las Vegas was told by a Southwest employee to cover up her cleavage, an action we’ve never seen happen in any beer commercial involving flying on airplanes.

Another woman received a “lecture” from an American Airlines Pilot for wearing a T-shirt with a four-lettered word.

3 More T-Shirt Ideas That May Lead To A Lecture From A Flight Crew

1. A T-shirt that says “My parents went to San Diego, and all they brought me back was a lousy T-Shirt, but not this one, because their baggage got lost by this airline on the flight back.” Read the rest of this entry

Which Of You Jerks Are Throwing Tin Cans Out Of Your Car Windows?

Beside roads everywhere, we see signs like the one below, and we all know what they mean, but have you ever asked yourself why the symbol of an opened tin can is used?

Tin Can sign

Please stop throwing these at the side of the road after you finish eating your corn in your car!

Is there anyone really breaking out the can-opener and eating cold beans in their vehicles?

3 Worse Items People Could Be Littering Through Their Car Windows Than Tin Cans Read the rest of this entry

Stop Blaming Your Parents For Everything And Start Blaming The Weather Girl!

Today’s hot 90 degree news tip comes to us via email from comedy blogger ListOfX. According to NPR, the Mayor of a Belgian tourist town called Knokke wants to sue a private weather service for giving a negative weather forecast. A hotel that has seen its occupancy rate decline 20 to 30 percent is also taking legal action.

We would like to take a moment to remind the mayor that you live in Belgium, a place where a top tourist attraction is a small statue of a boy urinating, that locals in Brussels have been known to dress up in different festive costumes.

3 Worse Things You Can Blame On Your Local Weather Forecaster

1. The European Economic crisis. Sure, we know major U.S. corporations are reporting lower sales in Europe, but it probably has nothing to do with spending and borrowing in nations like Greece, Portugal, Italy, Spain, and Ireland, and everything to do with the fact that maybe America hasn’t exported something that would certainly help Europe’s economy: smiley sunshine faces for meteorologists to stand in front of on TV! Read the rest of this entry

Toronto Mayor Who Admits Reading While Driving, Refuses To Hire Driver

As we previously wrote here, Rob Ford, Mayor of the City of Toronto, Canada, was caught on Twitter admittedly “probably” reading a document while driving his car on a Toronto expressway. Following suggestions that the “busy” mayor hire a personal driver, CBC reports that the Mayor, who also has a reputation for illegally talking on his cell phone while driving, refuses to hire a driver, because it is a waste of money.

We wonder if anyone else in Toronto has noticed that a Mayor who initially strongly wanted to close libraries has such a sudden passion for reading. We just kind of wish it wasn’t in his Cadillac Escalade while it is in motion with him at the wheel.

3 More Things That Need To Hire Drivers

1. Every wealthy celebrity in Hollywood who gets busted for DUI or any alcohol-related driving offense. We really wonder why Paris Hilton thinks she is flaunting her wealth when she is apparently too cheap to hire a driver to help her avoid bad driving decisions involving alcohol. Read the rest of this entry

NBC Confuses Jessie Eisenberg With Mark Zuckerberg.

According to Digital Trends, while showing a shot of the crowd during an Olympic basketball event, NBC Sportscaster Bob Fitzgerald, mistakenly identified Jessie Eisenberg, who played Mark Zuckerberg in the Social Network as the real Mark Zuckerberg. The exact quote from Digital Trends:

“I know I’m gonna put that picture on Facebook,” Fitzgerald said. “We’ve got every executive of note, it seems, worldwide, attending these games.”

3 Worse Celebrities NBC Could Misidentify As Major Executives

1. They could confuse Olympic gold-medal-winning snowboarder Shaun White with comedian Carrot Top. They both have crazy red hair, and Carrot Top did star in the movie “Chairman of the Board.” Which is an executive position of note. And also ironically what People Magazine calls Shaun White. Read the rest of this entry

NBC Reportedly Ending 30 Rock And The Office After This Season… Could It Be Worse?

According to USA Today, NBC will be ending the Office and 30 Rock this season. We at NotTheWorstNews headed to NBC’s web site to see if there were 3 objectively worse shows on America’s not-so-popular network. So here are:

3 Worse Shows That NBC Could Cancel Than 30 Rock and The Office Read the rest of this entry

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